Therapy for Perfectionism
Perfectionism tells us that our actions aren’t good enough and that a “wrong” choice is worse than no choice at all.
People with perfectionism can spend hours agonizing over a decision that, to others, may seem trivial.
Many people who struggle with perfectionism don’t identify it for what it is.
In fact, most people who have perfectionism believe they are far from perfect. Oftentimes, perfectionism shows up as low productivity and indecisiveness. At the core of perfectionism is anxiety and low self-worth. Perfectionism is:
- an attempt to control our environment in order to feel safe; and
- an attempt to do things perfectly in order to earn our worth
Author Brené Brown writes about “hustling for worthiness” in her book,
The Gifts of Imperfection. -
“When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving.”
You may have already found that hustling for your worthiness is futile. No matter how much you accomplish or produce, it is never enough. You live with a bully in your head that tears you down day-in and day-out. There is always something that could’ve been done better or quicker. You move the bar further each time, exhaust yourself, and conclude that you are unable to make everyone happy. In fact, in an effort to make everyone happy, you have found yourself deeply unhappy.
So, what now?
Therapy for perfectionism addresses the issues of fear, control, and negative beliefs about oneself. After spending years being who they believed others wanted them to be, many people who address perfectionism in therapy find that they gain a deeper understanding and appreciation for who they truly are. They may discover interests, opinions, and perceived “imperfections” of themselves.
Instead of hiding from this individuality, they face it, accept it, and find that it’s exactly what makes them beautifully unique. Love, creativity, and belonging exist on the other side of fear.
Brené says, “When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging.”
If you would like support on the journey away from perfectionism and towards authenticity, Pro Therapy Center can help.
