You have difficulty setting our following through with boundaries.
You feel resentful (even if you wish you didn't).
You may be passive.
You may experience anxiety.
You're not sure if you're justified in asking for more from your parter, your friends, or your boss.
You're exhausted from overcommitting to obligations.
This means saying “yes” at great expense of yourself,
carrying more than your fair share of responsibility,
being agreeable to keep the peace,
or remaining quiet out of fear of upsetting someone
If any of the above statements resonated with you, you could be “too selfless”.
Many people have internalized the message from society, culture, religion, or family that, to sacrifice one’s own needs for another is an admirable thing to do. This belief may subconsciously motivate you to put others before yourself in all situations without even considering your own wants, needs, and best interests.
While it is healthy to value others as equal to ourselves, many people who people-please describe valuing all others above themselves.
Many people who are passive and self-sacrificing are afraid to change because they don’t want to become selfish or aggressive.
Rest assured, there are many stops along the spectrum from passivity to aggression and from selflessness to selfishness. The goal is to land somewhere in the middle of these spectrums- to practice balance and assertiveness.
At Pro Therapy Center, we use a combination of Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Assertiveness Training to help clients change their thinking patterns, increase their self-esteem, recognize their value, and communicate their needs. We have seen clients greatly improve their self-worth, communication skills, relationships, and life satisfaction.